Curtains and Questions
by frenchyloop
Summary: Her optimistic personality was what brought most of the decorations to our place. When we picked the curtains I fought with her because I wanted them a mahogany color and she wanted them green. One-shot with Jori established relationship and -spoiler alert- it's a bit sad.


Sitting in our backyard I stare at the blue fence surrounding our house. It was her idea to paint it that color because she said blue objects remind her of my eyes. Her optimistic personality was what brought most of the decorations to our place. When we picked the curtains I fought with her because I wanted them a mahogany color and she wanted them green. That had been 5 years ago. Not our first fight but one that concluded with us getting an olive green color that contrasted with our creamy walls.

We moved into our home with hopes of finding the life we both wanted. I remember not portraying the feeling and acting like I hated the house. I've apologized now.

The curtains looked good even if we eventually changed them.

I stand up and walk into our home. My hand reaches toward the cabinet and I pick up a glass to fill with water. The liquid makes its way to the awaiting space and then to my mouth. As soon as I drink it I walk to our living room.

She decorated most of it because I chose the paintings on the wall. The furniture that we bought together is still there. Tori wanted microsuede sofas, but I insisted on black leather because I knew she'd want a pet later on and I didn't want hairs on my couches. She gave in.

I look around and catch a picture of our trip to Mexico. The two of us are smiling and I have my arms around her neck while she is holding me with both of her arms by my waist. It's like a routine but I don't mind routines.

I start to walk again until I reach my studio. It's a very small office next to the living room. The walls are red and my furniture is mostly dark, except for the small red couch in the corner – the one she wanted to put there for whenever she wanted to watch me write.

I sit down on the red couch and pull the script I was working in. It's been five years since we entered these walls and made wonderful memories in our home. Truth be told, she picked the house. It was in our budget so we bought it.

My script is supposed to be about a nun who kills people when she meets them at church. She is supposed to have a wrong childhood and her psychotic state happened because her parents mistreated her. I had inspiration before starting it. I had a plot, characters, and a setting. Now, I only have a script and my laptop. All my ideas are gone.

I put the script down and smile as I hear the oven go off. Tori taught me how to bake cupcakes 7 years ago.

Two years later we were moving in together. It's been 4 years since our trip to the Mexican beaches in Puerto Vallarta. She laughed at me because my Spanish didn't sound quite nice, and I don't mean that because of my accent. It's been 3 years with 7 months since we found a garage sale that was giving away puppies (half husky/half something else) and she begged me to get the black one with two colors in his eyes. We named him Harold, after my second favorite character from Hey Arnold. She'd thought I'd like Helga better, and I thought the same about her. She was wrong but I wasn't.

I walk inside the kitchen - one of Tori's favorite places to make out in the morning. As I approach the oven I know the cupcakes are ready and I pull them out. I made chocolate cupcakes because I know she likes those.

The cupcakes get placed in a container to cool down. I walk back to the living room and look at our curtains. We should have kept the olive green ones.

I make a mental note to finish my script and make my way back to my office. I look around and feel bad for not letting her put more decorations other than the red couch.

It's been 2 years with 3 months since Harold started losing weight and became tired more often; 2 years with 2 months since he got diagnosed with Leishmaniasis. It messed with his immune system and he wasn't able to fight pathogens. It's been a year with 6 months since he passed away. He had just turned two years old.

I sit down on her couch, and I smile because she loved my office and her couch.

After Harold's death I had just sold another script of mine. It was being made into a movie and it was going to be added to the list.

I started selling my scripts seven and a half years ago, Tori was already keeping me company.

This nun story needed to be finished so I could move on but Tori liked this story. I couldn't give up on it. She said it was cruel and sadistic when she heard my first ideas; she said it was a Jade story with a moral. I don't know what the moral was and I never asked.

I should have, though.

I should have asked her about the moral, and I should have asked her to marry me a year ago when I bought the ring.

The ring is still in my top drawer – she never found it. In fact, she never made it home one night. About 11 months with 14 days ago.

I know she would have liked for me to finish the script if that drunk driver hadn't crashed into her car.

If she were to be here right now, she would be coming to my office with the cupcakes that I just made and sit on her couch.

I'm glad I let her paint our fence blue. However, just thinking about her makes my throat constrict as I fight the tears.

It's been 11 months with 12 days since she passed away. The doctors said she had brain death. I know she would have fought more but they said there was nothing they could do. I knocked one of them unconscious. The nurses and two security guards had to calm me down with tranquilizers and needles.

I should have let her keep the green curtains and choose the sofa that she wanted at first.

We buried her 11 months with 11 days ago. She looked so pure and gorgeous, even in death. Trina had hugged me that day and I didn't push her back. Her parents were as much of a mess as I was. They said they were sorry.

The gang was there. After her funeral, Trina or Cat started coming more often to the house. I guess they wanted to check how I was doing.

I lasted two weeks without leaving the house.

Then Trina begged me to start therapy 10 months with 28 days ago. It helped a little but I still regret not asking Tori everything I would have liked to. The moral of the nun story; how her day was; had anyone been mean to her on set; how did she feel about getting a new dog; if she wanted to marry me; all those questions and many more.

I think about her every day.

Her birthday would have been 8 days from now. She'll expect a visit and I will give it to her. She'll hear me say how much I love her. I'll even tell her how much I miss her.

**A/N – )): I was listening to the Girls (HBO) soundtrack and the song On Your Way got to me. I also blame 500 Days of Summer because I was watching it earlier. I will continue Wonderwall now that this is out of my system. I'm sorry ): Would you let me know what you think? It would make my day.**


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